When I arrived in Bali, I was quickly faced with a harsh truth: I didn’t know how to take care of myself. I learned, that for years, I had been dependent on anyone other than myself to take care of me when shit got hard. And suddenly, I had no one to give me the answers. I had to figure it out myself.
Read MoreI don’t know about you, but when I’m depressed, cooking breakfast is a chore, and showering is a marathon. P.L.E.A.S.E. is handy acronym and gentle checklist that is only asking you to do those bare minimum things daily, with the hopes of keeping you at a baseline that is manageable.
Read MoreCoping Ahead is a brilliant tool that anyone can use--even if you don’t suffer from severe anxiety. We could all use a little help in preparing for stressful situations. Over the years, I have developed a routine of how I cope ahead. You can use the Cope Ahead skills when you are headed into any situation that you know might cause you any kind of negative emotion. Here is how it’s done.
Read MoreToday, I have been in recovery for 5 years, and I am swimming in self-love, in great part because of my affirmation practice. I am a better partner because I take care of and love myself. I am a more thoughtful and considerate friend because I believe in my skills as a listener and empath. I work smarter, not harder, because know I deserve breaks to recharge. I want to share with you my affirmation practice, because it has evolved dramatically from those first few months in treatment. I want to teach you how to go from writing simple, generalized affirmations to powerful, uniquely your affirmations.
Read MoreA panic attack is the body’s natural and normal response to threat. In the olden days of yore, human’s greatest threats were survival related: “Is that bear going to eat me,” “Will I starve if I don’t find food,” “I will freeze and die without fire,” etc. These days, we aren’t faced with dangers like bear-attacks or running from a herd of antelope. (ok, maybe some of us are, I don’t know your life.) So our brains start to attach this same-level threat to non-life-threatening experiences.
Read MoreI love tradition, and ritual, and ceremony. And even though I chose not to write resolutions, I wanted to honor the end of a year. I wanted to use the transition as an opportunity to reflect. So I decided that in lieu of New Years Resolutions, I would write New Years Reflections: I would find gratitude for this past year.
Read MoreI used to live by the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. In love, I operated under the assumption that to show my partner I loved him, I should do what I would want him to do for me. After all, that’s how you express love, right?
Wrong.
Read MoreIs this home?
I asked this as my plane descended into Seattle at dusk, the day after Christmas. Only 30 hours prior, I had left Bali’s hot pink sunsets. Looking out the window at the orange, mountain-laden sky, I wondered if this was home anymore.
Read MoreDo you ever get lonely? I do. Like all the time. As in right now, and earlier today, and yesterday. I get lonely a lot. I often wonder what loneliness is. I know it’s a feeling, or maybe a state of being. But what is loneliness, and how do I get rid of it?
Read MoreOne of the first steps in dealing with Anxiety is understanding and identifying our unhelpful thinking patterns. Many of us, without realizing it, have automatic thoughts in response to both stressful and non-stressful situations that influence the way we feel about the experience. Often, these thoughts are negative, and put us down an anxious path (or as I like to call it, a fuck-spiral).
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