“I don’t know why I just wake up and cannot bring myself to start anything. I feel like I’m having a mid-life existential crisis but I don’t know if it’s because I’m not happy with what I’m doing or that I’m just not seeing how wonderful it is. Like am I just wearing really shitty colored glasses?”
Read MoreLast week I told my therapist I wasn’t feeling motivated or passionate anymore. She said that often times people with a history of trauma, chronic stress, or mental illness can see a decline in executive functioning, which can explain low motivation. Here’s what she suggested.
Read MoreToday is my 35th birthday. And for the first time in a long time, I can truly say, I’m so glad I was born. I’m so glad to be alive. I’m glad that my attempts to leave didn’t work, and in honor of being 35—still alive—here are 35 lessons I’ve learned in life.
Read MoreSome people spend their lives focusing on mental wellness. They meditate, journal, go to therapy, read self-help books, practice active listening, understand how to identify and process their emotions, and have a breadth of coping skills. In the face of a crisis, they are as prepared as they can be to handle the toughest mental challenge of their lives.
Read MoreThe last two months have been a fucktsorm. This blog post might suck, but I’m having a really shitty week, so that’s going to have to be fine. Let’s consider this an “owning up to my lack of copeholism” post. A relapse admission. An I’m-not-perfect-and-you-don’t-have-to-be-either post.
Read MoreI started to think about restructuring my emotional boundaries. About being honest with myself about the work I’ve done and the work that needs to be done. I imagined myself as a little girl, first learning about her emotions, how others actions impact her feelings, and how she impacts other people’s emotions. What would I teach her so that she understood where the boundary lay? What lessons would I hope she learned?
Read MoreI started googling, “who created the concept of boundaries” and “what therapy first talked about boundaries” and “where did the idea of boundaries come from in psychology?” I saw dozens of articles like “10 Ways to Effectively Set Boundaries” or “What to do When Your Boundaries Aren’t Respected” and “5 Different Types of Boundaries to Set” and I was overwhelmed.
Read MoreCoping Ahead is a brilliant tool that anyone can use--even if you don’t suffer from severe anxiety. We could all use a little help in preparing for stressful situations. Over the years, I have developed a routine of how I cope ahead. You can use the Cope Ahead skills when you are headed into any situation that you know might cause you any kind of negative emotion. Here is how it’s done.
Read MoreI used to live by the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. In love, I operated under the assumption that to show my partner I loved him, I should do what I would want him to do for me. After all, that’s how you express love, right?
Wrong.
Read MoreOne of the first steps in dealing with Anxiety is understanding and identifying our unhelpful thinking patterns. Many of us, without realizing it, have automatic thoughts in response to both stressful and non-stressful situations that influence the way we feel about the experience. Often, these thoughts are negative, and put us down an anxious path (or as I like to call it, a fuck-spiral).
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