Blog — Rachel Havekost

Curiosity, Courage, Connection, & Thoughts on Healing Culture

After 18 years of therapy, I feel…fine. Not euphoric, perfect, or “healed” like I used to aspire towards. I feel fine. In a wonderfully simple, stable, and settled kind of way. I’m fine. I’m enough. Life still throws curveballs, I get stressed, I feel insecure and fumble in conversations and struggle to go to sleep. I wonder how I’ll pay bills and freak out about a pimple. I get overly excited about french fries and spill beer…everywhere. I panic at meals sometimes and wonder if I’ll ever really love my body.

"To Live Will Be an Awfully Great Adventure"

The last time I cried at the airport I was 11 years old.

My family and I were moving halfway across the world—a move that filled me with rage for my parents & a fear of loneliness I’d never felt before.

StoriesRachel HavekostOctober 28, 2022relationships, friendship, heartbreak, divorce, love, loneliness, aloeComment

Top 5 Mental Health Tips From 18 Years in Therapy

Community Blog Post: Suicide Prevention Month

Each month, I will be sharing a guest piece written by someone from my online community. September’s submissions included pieces about suicide in honor of Suicide Prevention Month. I’m humbled by the writing I received, and I’m proud as hell to share a space with so many courageous individuals who are willing to share their stories. The work of destigmatizing mental health is a community one, and I’m honored to share this space.

Staying Open to Love After Heartbreak: Is it Possible?

Lately I have been in deep conversation with my therapist around love. After getting divorced in 2020, I really never thought I’d be open to love again. I was certain that Josh was the only man I’d ever love. Certain that I’d given him all my love, and that I’d have no more to give even if I was open to it again. Certain that he was the best love I’d ever receive, and to hope for something as good as, let alone better, would be a hopeless mission.

RelationshipsRachel HavekostAugust 26, 2022divorce, heartbreak, love, relationshipsComment

Today is My Wedding Anniversary, Except I'm Not Married Anymore

“I’m angry at myself, because I still think that at the root, it’s my fault we got divorced. And maybe, it’s what I’ve been holding onto for almost a year. I think it’s why I haven’t really, truly let go of him.”

RelationshipsRachel HavekostAugust 20, 2022divorce, grief, angerComment

Why I Stopped Caring What People Think

I care deeply about how my actions impact those around me, and pay attention to when the limits of my responsibility are met so that I don’t extend beyond the boundary of prioritizing my wellness or maintaining integrity of my identity. Beyond these boundaries is the realm of emotional babysitting, and that is what I am no longer participating in.

8 Things That Are Helping My Mental Health

I’ve been in therapy for a LONG time. More than half my life.

I’m 33.
I’m divorced.
I’ve been to intensive outpatient therapy for an ED.
I’ve been hospitalized for attempts to end my life.

I’ve tried CBT, DBT, EMDR, Existential/humanistic therapy, ACT….

Depression, Anxiety, Coping Skills, Relationships, Self-EsteemRachel HavekostJuly 25, 2022tips, lessons, anxiety, depression, 1:1, work with rachel, stuck, inner childComment

Recording My Audiobook is Showing My Growth

On Monday, June 6, we got in a taxi and headed to Puerto Vallarta. We’d booked a studio and AirBnb for a week, and were as ready as we could be to embark on a project that neither of us had ever done, but one that sparked our creative juices and promised us an adventure of learning, play, and fulfillment.

Stories, Relationships, DepressionRachel HavekostJune 8, 2022stressComment

This is Why You Should Do Affirmations (or anything for your mental health) in the Mornin

I have been learning SO many juicy nuggets of information over the last 12 days.

I’ve been in and out of therapy since 2005, spent 4 months in Eating Disorder Recovery in 2015, and attended Graduate School to study Mental Health Counseling.

To say I know a lot about mental health is an understatement.

Coping Skills, Depression, Anxiety, Self-Esteem, JournalingRachel HavekostApril 19, 2022journaling, affirmations, brainComment