8 Things That Are Helping My Mental Health
I’ve been in therapy for a LONG time. More than half my life.
I’m 33.
I’m divorced.
I’ve been to intensive outpatient therapy for an ED.
I’ve been hospitalized for attempts to end my life.
I’ve tried CBT, DBT, EMDR, Existential/humanistic therapy, ACT, IFS, group therapy & Attachment therapy.
I’ve done energy healing, quantum healing, reiki, plant medicine, breastwork, yoga, meditation, silent ashrams, and sound healing.
I went to graduate school to study psychology and practiced as a therapist for about 6 months (not for me, but bless all of you in any kind of healing/therapeutic work).
I’m educated in pharmaceuticals, diagnostics, and therapeutic intervention.
I’ve developed guided journals, written articles, and shared any and all tools I possibly can with others to try and distill everything I’ve learned in the last 18 years into what I hope can be relatable, simple, and helpful.
(to make it even simpler, I’ve made a “find my healing path quiz” to help you choose what tools/path might be helpful if you’re overwhelmed.)
Last week, I noticed a “Little Miss” trend going around social media, and what initially sparked a little joy and laughter in my heart suddenly turned into a massive reckoning around what has actually helped my heart in the last six months since my most recent breakdown.
I asked myself, “if I had to distill the lessons I’ve learned into Little Miss graphics, what would they be?”
What arose was a clear theme.
I realized that in the last 6 months, no matter how much I meditated or journaled or talked to my therapist, nothing actually brought me deep relief, instilled unwavering confidence, and allowed me to stay motivated than these three things:
Connection, Self-Acceptance, & Showing Up.
I had to learn to accept rejection so l could start being myself.
Once I was ok with being myself, I actually met people I connected with deeply and without shame or embarrassment.
Once I connected and made intimate friendships, I was never alone and felt safe to reach out when I was struggling.
These connections taught me that vulnerability doesn’t always mean sharing the hard stuff--it means sharing the good stuff too.
And the good stuff we share gets to be celebrated together, collectively, rather than boasted or hoarded for fear that someone might take it.
Through it all, we show up—messy, imperfect, wild, and curious.
This seems so simple, and it is. But getting here was hard.
It has taken me years of inner child work to get to a place where I am kind to myself.
It has taken more time working with my inner teen to teach her that her worth does not come from being better than others, and that celebrating other people and lifting one another up is how we find more connection and ultimately a sense of belonging than trying to impress people or convince them of our wonderfulness.
(if you are just beginning inner child work, check out my Inner Child Masterclass).
Learning to connect, ask for help, and be vulnerable when I was in pain took a lot of fighting against the belief that I was a burden. Learning to share my wins, small joy, or just random things that happened throughout my day with friends took almost just as much effort. The benefits are almost identical.
And to feel safe enough and rooted enough in who I am, what I believe in, and my confidence in all of the above to actually speak my mind without fear of being disliked is probably the only reason I’m making any forward motion in my business, love life, and desire to be alive.
These lessons took years to arrive to, and, I’m sure many more will unfold as the years come.
I hope you find some sense in these lessons, some of you, or something to chew on.
XX
Rachel, “Little Miss these lessons will seem so important now, and in a year I’ll look back and see how far I’ve grown.”
P.S. If you are on any kind of journey to self-acceptance, healing post-heartbreak, or any life transition that is leaving you utterly stuck with where to go or what to focus on, I invite you to book a 1:1 Meet Yourself Consultation with me.