Years ago, I was asked to speak at a National Eating Disorder Awareness event about my story. It was the first time I publicly shared my story, and I was terrified. When writing my speech, I asked myself what I wish I could have heard as a young girl struggling with an eating disorder.
Read MoreGrowing up, I wanted to be a good girl. To do so, I knew I would have to follow all the rules--if I did, then no one could punish me, and I would never have to face disappointment. I looked for rules everywhere--in my parent’s verbal and non-verbal cues, in their reactions to my behavior, and in their interactions with eachother. Through careful deciphering and child-like deliberation, I created an imaginary rubric of what I imagined the “rules” to be.
Read MoreIn 2005, when I was 15 years old, I was diagnosed with Anorexia. At that time there was so little discussion about eating disorders within our culture (outside of the occasional tabloid headline or celebrity weight loss scandal). For the most part, eating disorders were not spoken of, and support and recovery for those who needed it was kept quiet. As a result, my eating disorder and therapy was a secret for my entire high school career.
Read MoreI want to tell you a story about the stranger who told me she loved me.
Read MoreThe last two months have been a fucktsorm. This blog post might suck, but I’m having a really shitty week, so that’s going to have to be fine. Let’s consider this an “owning up to my lack of copeholism” post. A relapse admission. An I’m-not-perfect-and-you-don’t-have-to-be-either post.
Read MoreWhen I arrived in Bali, I was quickly faced with a harsh truth: I didn’t know how to take care of myself. I learned, that for years, I had been dependent on anyone other than myself to take care of me when shit got hard. And suddenly, I had no one to give me the answers. I had to figure it out myself.
Read MoreIs this home?
I asked this as my plane descended into Seattle at dusk, the day after Christmas. Only 30 hours prior, I had left Bali’s hot pink sunsets. Looking out the window at the orange, mountain-laden sky, I wondered if this was home anymore.
Read MoreI woke up at 3am this morning to a light knock on my cabin door. I had ridden my motorbike 2.5 hours the day before from Canggu to Kintamara, where I stayed overnight so that I could hike Mount Batur at sunrise.
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