Rachel Havekost
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Rachel Havekost

“I’m not interested in befores and afters. Show me the messy middle.”

RACHEL
HAVEKOST

Author. Storyteller. Teacher.

Taking wisdom and lessons from 18 years of therapy and paying it forward with radical transparency, vulnerability, and education.

It is my hope that you finally feel safe to show up as the fullest you, and that in doing so you learn to radically love and accept others in their full self-states, too.

Whatever you do, I hope you live with purpose, lead with love, & connect with courage.

As Featured in:

find all of my podcast interviews compiled in the playlist below:

Hi Pretty Human,

It is an honor and a gift to be able to share this safe space with you. My heart melts knowing you’re giving yourself the gift of showing up for YOU.

At the age of 15, I developed an Eating Disorder, and in the years that followed I battled depression, anxiety, suicidality, sexual trauma, divorce, and grief.

I longed for a sense of relief from the never-ending cycle of feeling better, going after my dreams, then inevitably crashing, falling hard, and feeling like I was “starting all over.”

Some days I find that relief.

Other days I struggle.

I have learned that seeking total relief or complete happiness is, in part, what kept me outside of peace. I longed for a life free of pain, and in my naivety, I imagined a world where I could never be hurt again.

This, I know now, is not what it means to be human.

No.

Because if I truly show up and invite love, hope, joy, and all the good feelings into my heart, so too do I invite grief, disappointment, and sorrow. Equilibrium will always find a way, and we can only fight the opposing charges with defense mechanisms for so long.

Breakdowns emerge when we exhaust our will to suppress.

Instead, we must meet our pain with curiosity. Invite our emotions to sit with us and communicate. To arrive closer to who we are, and to being human. To human being, instead of human doing.

“We must meet our pain with curiosity. Invite our emotions to sit with us and communicate. To arrive closer to who we are, and to being human. To human BEing, instead of human DOing.”

By allowing ourselves to cocoon in our imperfections, be loving towards our faults, and find skills to manage life’s natural ebbs and flows, we meet ourselves and one another in the messy middle, and perhaps find the courage to emerge from our cocoons and connect.

Through writing, journaling templates, and a lil’ joy (we dance a lot in this community), it is my hope to integrate all that I have learned in the last two decades of life and therapy into a safe space that supports, empowers, and educates you on your healing journey.

All my love,

XO -Rachel

P.S. If you’d like to read my full story, check out my memoir, “Where the River Flows.”

Where the River Flows is the memoir I always wanted to write, but never had the courage to. After my divorce during the pandemic, I felt I had nothing left to lose. I finally wrote the story of my Eating Disorder, and the ways in which the end of my marriage sparked both fury and healing around my sense of self.

Ways to Work With Rachel

Rachel is available for in-person speaking engagements, workshops, summits, and more.

In the past, Rachel has been a guest at Harvard’s Mental Health Creator’s Summit, a keynote speaker at Cadre’s Wellness Summit in Minneapolis, a guest speaker at the documentary film premiere of Moving America’s Soul on Suicide in conjunction with the 988 Crisis Line, and a facilitator and co-host of a Saturday Sabbatical Wellness event in Seattle.

Rachel speaks on topics like:

  • What it means to be “well” and redefining wellness

  • Belonging and being your true self

  • Radical Acceptance and embracing reality

  • Suicide awareness and prevention

  • Eating disorder recovery

  • Grief and reclaiming self

While these are generally themes Rachel focuses on, she is always happy to work with folks and create new and meaningful experiences or workshops based on their needs, so please don’t hesitate to reach out and begin a conversation!

 

HIRE RACHEL TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT

If you’d like to book Rachel for a speaking engagement, event, or in-person workshop, please use the contact form below.

Learn From Rachel Online

Whether you are on your journey as a writer, content creator, or storyteller, there is a space for you to heal, learn, & grow in this community.

Below are my recommendations for where to start (though I have dozens of journals, blog posts, & workshops for more specific needs. Scroll to the bottom of the page and click “shop all” to access more of my offerings).

Regardless of your financial position, I want you to have the opportunity to dive into your work and feel the impact of expressing yourself and loving life.

This is why I offer a range of services to accommodate a variety of needs and accessibility.

If you require special assistance with any of these services, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

1:1Consultations (60 minutes)

Whether you want to pick my brain about writing a book, starting a social media platform that is safe and inclusive, or coping with your mental health, this consultation will give you space to ask anything and everything.

I want to pick rachie's brain!

*If you are looking for writing mentorship, send me an e-mail and tell me what you’re working on! I offer limited writing coaching (specifically memoir writing) and would love to talk to you.

Where the River Flows: My Memoir

For anyone who has struggled with depression, anxiety, trauma, an eating disorder, sexuality and sex, grief, loss, or divorce, my memoir “Where the River Flows” is a deeply honest, raw, and insightful account of my experience with all of the above. In its pages you’ll find the lessons I’ve learned in therapy, wisdom born from the wreckage, and hope.

take me to the memoir

The Self-Healer’s Journal

*RECOMMENDED FOR NEW JOURNALERS!

The Self-Healer’s Journal is a 90-Day guided journal with over 50 unique prompts. This journal reflects the exact rubric that I follow daily, and is what I have used for over 2 years to keep my mood, thoughts, and sense of self balanced and well. I have created a print and e-version of this journal, so no matter your needs you can find support from this practice.

take me to the self-healer’s journal

The Inner Child Journal

The Inner Child Journal is a 90-day guided journal designed to heal and re-parent your Inner Child. The prompts in this journal will connect you to your Inner Child, facilitate meaningful healing, and teach you to cultivate your wise Inner Parent so that you can find peace and wholeness in your daily life. I have created a print and e-version of this journal, so no matter your needs you can find support in this practice.

take me to the inner child journal

Masterclass+ Workshops

If you’re seeking more in depth support, education, and guidance, my Masterclasses and Workshops are a perfect option. These courses cover Writing and Creating Safe Spaces Online, Inner Child Healing, Emotion Regulation, Boundaries, and Re-Parenting in depth, and include video instruction from me, along with journals and exercises to assist you on your journey.

take me to the masterclasses
take me to the workshop

Don’t forget, you are allowed joy and rest.

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It would be my honor to walk with you as you build a life worth living. Subscribe to receive free therapeutic tools, journaling templates, and Rachel’s life updates.

INSTAGRAM
@rachel_havekost

Since I was little, I’ve wanted to be a writer. After my umpteenth mental breakdown as an adult I thought “ok maybe I don’t have what it takes, and I should just be a sad poet whose work is appreciated long after I’m dead.&rdq
Hard truths I’m learning in therapy about love, a thread👉🏼(The last slide is the most powerful question I’m asking myself.) I’ve historically operated from a space of fear in love. I struggle with the middle space between a one
Show up messy. Show up uncertain. Show up scared. Just show up. I made this journal in the middle of mess. My husband had just asked me for a divorce, and the pandemic was only a month old. Nothing was certain. Nothing was clean or crisp. And I was

Happy Healing,

XO - Rachel