How Setting Goals Makes Me Happier
When I looked back at my January goals, I was amazed to see not only had I accomplished them, but I had exceeded them.
At the beginning of January, I set myself four monthly goals. I had just come back to Seattle after traveling full time for over a year, and I had absolutely no clue how or if I was going to be able to get those goals accomplished.
Yesterday, as I pulled out my journal to begin filling out my February month-long calendar, I looked back on my January cal--not only had I accomplished every goal I had written down, I had exceeded them.
I wondered how I had been able to do this. I don’t remember focusing all my energy on getting photography gigs. Or spending so much time worrying about who would illustrate the published version of my morning journal. But somehow, I managed to accomplish my career goals and go above and beyond the goals I had set for myself.
Goal setting was never part of my practice growing up. I knew I had certain tasks I was meant to accomplish, like:
Get good grades
Excel in extracurricular activities
Be polite
Make time for friends
Do my chores
Turn off the lights and don’t wear shoes on the carpet (I’ll never forget Mommy, I promise).
But I don’t remember setting any goals for myself.
I dreamed--yes. I dreamed of being the next Meryl Streep. Of falling in love and being swept off my feet. Of being famous. Of getting noticed. I dreamed a lot. But set goals? Nope.
It wasn’t until I entered therapy that the idea of goal-setting was even introduced to me. It seemed silly to me--like, duh, if I set a goal I’ll accomplish it. Why do I need to set goals like “go for a walk three times a week” or “write in my diary every night?” That seems dumb, if I want to do something, I’ll just do it.
I quickly learned, though, that the habits and accomplishments of people I admired and aspired to be like, were not habits I possessed or accomplishments under my belt for one really “silly” reason: They set goals, and I didn’t.
In my first week of group therapy, Annie, one of my favorite therapists, taught us how to create and set S.M.A.R.T. Goals. At the beginning of each week, we would all create three S.M.A.R.T. Goals and she would write them on the whiteboard. Every day in group we would see our goals written on the board as reminders of the goals we had set.
The following week, we would check in to see what goals we had accomplished, and which ones we struggled with. Annie always invited us to use language like, “I struggled with that goal,” rather than “I failed at that goal.” This created space for us to explore the challenges facing us with a particular goal, which gave us the opportunity to get support from the group on ways to try and reach our goal differently.
There was no failing--only trying, observing, and learning.
After three months of creating S.M.A.R.T. Goals every week, it became a habit. Before I knew it, goal-setting was a regular practice, and I started to feel like I could do anything.
These days, I set goals monthly and try to set weekly goals that build up to those larger goals. I 100% get off track, and I absolutely go through periods where I set zero goals. Because I’m human. And I notice in times when I’m not setting goals--especially S.M.A.R.T. goals, I feel overwhelmed, aimless, and generally lacking direction and purpose.
After so much success with my January goals, it seemed like a no-brainer to repeat (and maybe even spice up) the process for February. Naturally, I wanted to share that process with you, so let’s get right to it.
What is a S.M.A.R.T. Goal, and how do you set it?
S.M.A.R.T. Stands for:
Specific: Use clear, specific language when setting a goal. A goal of “I want to make money” is not very specific, but a goal of “I want to make $10,000” is.
Measurable: Create a goal you can actually measure. For example, if I have a goal to get more photography gigs, I can’t really measure “more.” I can, however, measure a number of gigs, so I could make a goal of “I want to get 2 photography gigs.”
Attainable: Make sure your goal is something that is actually within reach. For example, “I want an IQ of 30,000” isn’t actually attainable, so you set yourself for failure by creating a truly unattainable goal.
Realistic: Make sure your goal is something that you can realistically accomplish. For example, if I create the goal of getting 2 photography gigs as my weekly goal, I know based on experience that it’s not very realistic that will happen. But getting 2 client leads might be realistic, so I could make that my goal.
Timely: Set a timeframe for your goal, and use the tips above to ensure you’re giving yourself enough time to accomplish it. If I set a goal of “I want to cook three vegan dinners,” that gives no indication of when that task needs to be accomplished--I could easily cook three vegan dinners in three months, but it would be very hard to do in one day. Setting a timely goal, like one week, creates enough oomph to get the goal accomplished, while creating enough space not to feel overwhelmed.
Example of a S.M.A.R.T. Goal:
Ok, let’s break this down into an example. For the most part, when you create the first iteration of your goal, it will include some but not all of the S.M.A.R.T. components. I encourage you to run your goal through the following funnel to see if it is, indeed, smart.
Example Goal: Work on my 12 Minute Journal
Specific: Can you make the goal more specific?
Yes: Input content into the Adobe InDesign template for my 12 Minute Journal.
Measurable: Is the goal measurable?
No, I can indicate I want to input “all of the existing content,” which means I am focusing only on getting the content I’ve already written included, and that I want ALL of it.
Attainable: Is this goal attainable?
Yes, it’s basically copying and pasting, and I know I can do data entry.
Realistic:
Is this goal realistic? Yep, one month is enough time to do it without burning out.
Timely: Did you create a timeframe for yourself, and if you did, is it a good amount of time?
Because I have set this as a “monthly” goal in my calendar, I’m aware it’s a month-long goal. And yes, one month is a good amount of time.
S.M.A.R.T Goal: Input all of my existing content into the InDesign template for my 12 Minute Journal.
Yippee! Now that’s a SMART Goal.
Each week, I set smaller S.M.A.R.T Goals that are related to my bigger goals. I know that there are 90 pages of content to input, so if I break that down into four weeks, it’s easy to set a weekly goal of “Input 25 pages of content into my InDesign template for my 12 Minute Journal.” (yeah I know that’s not ¼ of 90, but that gives me wiggle room on my last week, OK?)
For less obvious goal breakdowns like getting clients, socializing, or self-care, find actionable things you can do like “make 4 cold calls by the end of this week,” or “attend one social event outside of my comfort zone,” or “make an appointment to get my nails done.” Over time, these smaller S.M.A.R.T. Goals accumulate, and energy starts to move itself towards those bigger, scarier, more daunting goals.
The really exciting part is, I generally have no fucking clue how I’m going to do my bigger, long-term goals. But I know in my head what the goal is, I’ve set the goal and put it into the universe, and I have faith that I’ll make it happen.
I have come to realize that setting goals is not necessarily about the goals themselves. It’s about setting intentions, making a commitment, and believing in myself.
Because I’m Type-A, and because I love you, I’ve made a PDF of a February Calendar. It’s EXACTLY what I put in my own journal, and you can fill in monthly and weekly goals for yourself.
